{"id":5947,"date":"2019-05-21T13:45:00","date_gmt":"2019-05-21T13:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/altaymammadov.com\/?p=5947"},"modified":"2025-08-19T12:41:47","modified_gmt":"2025-08-19T12:41:47","slug":"altay-mammadov-anam-qocalmisdi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/altaymammadov.com\/ru\/altay-mammadov-anam-qocalmisdi\/","title":{"rendered":"Altay M\u0259mm\u0259dov – Anam qocalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131"},"content":{"rendered":"
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S\u0259rt bax\u0131\u015f\u0131 vard\u0131. Sa\u011f g\u00f6z\u00fc qa\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131. M\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, \u00e7\u0259pdir, amma \u00e7ox vaxt g\u00f6z yerin\u0259 qay\u0131d\u0131rd\u0131. X\u0259sislikl\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Londondan yenic\u0259 qay\u0131tm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Neft kimyas\u0131ndan m\u0259ruz\u0259 el\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 getmi\u015fdi. Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 k\u0259lm\u0259 s\u00f6yl\u0259yir, \u00abH\u0259, bu q\u0259d\u0259r\u00bb deyirdi\u2026 T\u0259rp\u0259nm\u0259diyimi g\u00f6r\u00fcb g\u00f6zl\u0259rini bir n\u00f6qt\u0259y\u0259 zill\u0259yirdi. Sual verm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tinlik \u00e7\u0259kirdim. \u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fc a\u011f\u0131r y\u00fck alt\u0131nda hiss edirdim. Cavan olmas\u0131na baxmayaraq, \u00e7ox m\u0259\u015fhur alimdi, amma n\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fand\u0131, n\u0259 xo\u015fsif\u0259t. G\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n d\u0259rsi nec\u0259 deyirdi, t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259ti nec\u0259 idi? Sa\u011f g\u00f6z\u00fc qa\u00e7anda narahatl\u0131\u011f\u0131m art\u0131rd\u0131; \u00e7ox ac\u0131ql\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc. Anlama\u011fa ba\u015flay\u0131rd\u0131m ki, q\u0259zet\u00e7iliyin \u00e7\u0259tinliyi t\u0259kc\u0259 yazmaqda deyil, m\u00fcxt\u0259lif xasiyy\u0259tli adamlarla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb s\u00f6z qoparmaq yazmaqdan \u00e7ox a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131r. Bu, indiy\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fcm adamlar\u0131n \u0259n \u00e7\u0259tini idi. Yar\u0131m \u00e7ap v\u0259r\u0259qi yazmal\u0131 idim, el\u0259diyim qeydl\u0259rl\u0259 he\u00e7 onun d\u00f6rdd\u0259 birini d\u0259 ba\u015fa g\u0259tirm\u0259zdim\u2026 Osa susurdu.
\u2013 M\u0259n \u00e7ox yazmal\u0131yam, \u2013 dedim.<\/p>

\u2013 N\u0259y\u0259 g\u00f6r\u0259?<\/p>

\u2013 Tap\u015f\u0131r\u0131q bel\u0259dir.<\/p>

Durdu. Ucaboy, hoqqar idi. Kabinetin divar\u0131 boyu uzanm\u0131\u015f kitab \u015fkaf\u0131ndan bir ne\u00e7\u0259 qovluq \u00e7\u0131xar\u0131b g\u0259tirdi. Birini a\u00e7d\u0131.<\/p>

\u2013 Siz\u0259 ingilis m\u0259tbuat\u0131n\u0131n Az\u0259rbaycan kimya\u00e7\u0131lar\u0131 haqq\u0131ndak\u0131 r\u0259yl\u0259rini oxuyum, qeyd g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcn. \u2013 Cavab g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259d\u0259n soru\u015fdu: \u2013 B\u0259lk\u0259 siz \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcz ingilisc\u0259d\u0259n istifad\u0259 ed\u0259 bil\u0259rsiniz?<\/p>

\u2013 Ed\u0259 bil\u0259r\u0259m.<\/p>

Xo\u015funa g\u0259ldi, sif\u0259td\u0259 g\u00fccl\u0259 sezil\u0259n t\u0259b\u0259ss\u00fcm zahir oldu v\u0259 tez d\u0259 yoxa \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131.<\/p>

\u2013 Jurnalistin xarici dil bilm\u0259si yax\u015f\u0131d\u0131r. Tez qaytarmaq \u015f\u0259rtil\u0259 apara bil\u0259rsiniz. Daha hans\u0131 xarici dili bilirsiniz?<\/p>

\u2013 He\u00e7 birini.<\/p>

\u2013 Onda alman, frans\u0131z q\u0259zetl\u0259rind\u0259n par\u00e7alar\u0131 deyim yaz\u0131n.<\/p>

\u2013 \u00c7ox sa\u011f olun.<\/p>

Ayr\u0131 qovluqlar g\u0259tirdi, t\u0259rc\u00fcm\u0259 etm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131, q\u0259l\u0259mimi s\u00fcr\u0259tl\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259dirdim ki, bir k\u0259lm\u0259ni d\u0259 buraxmay\u0131m. Dey\u0259s\u0259n, yax\u015f\u0131 m\u0259qal\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xacaqd\u0131. Arada dill\u0259ndim.<\/p>

\u2013 \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fcz bar\u0259d\u0259 olanlardan da deyin.<\/p>

\u2013 F\u0259rqi yoxdur, \u2013 dedi.<\/p>

Frans\u0131z q\u0259zetl\u0259ri olan qovlu\u011fu a\u00e7anda aras\u0131ndan \u0259l boyda, a\u00e7\u0131q g\u00f6y\u0259 \u00e7alan yun par\u00e7a q\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Diqq\u0259tim yay\u0131nd\u0131. Alim bunu sezdi. O da \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259nin \u00fcstd\u0259ki par\u00e7aya baxd\u0131. G\u00f6t\u00fcrd\u00fc.<\/p>

S\u0131\u011fallad\u0131, el\u0259 bil do\u011fma bir \u015feyi ox\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131. Sif\u0259ti yum\u015fald\u0131. P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259d\u0259n d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n i\u015f\u0131q artd\u0131, par\u00e7a ne\u00e7\u0259 r\u0259ng\u0259 \u00e7ald\u0131.<\/p>

\u2013 Q\u0259l\u0259mi yer\u0259 qoyun, \u2013 dedi.<\/p>

\u018fm\u0259l etdim.<\/p>

\u2013 Sizin yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131 dostunuz varm\u0131?<\/p>

\u2013 Var, b\u0259li.<\/p>

\u2013 Amma m\u0259nim yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131 dostum yoxdur. Orta m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 m\u0259nd\u0259n ba\u015fqa sinfimizd\u0259ki b\u00fct\u00fcn u\u015faqlar yaz\u0131rd\u0131, \u0259ks\u0259ri \u015feir, b\u0259zil\u0259ri hekay\u0259. T\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcf ki, onlardan he\u00e7 biri yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131 olmad\u0131, daha do\u011frusu, ola bilm\u0259di. \u018fg\u0259r tan\u0131\u015f bir yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131 olsa, m\u0259ni narahat ed\u0259n bir \u0259hvalat\u0131 dan\u0131\u015fard\u0131m, \u2013 susdu, \u2013 b\u0259lk\u0259 el\u0259 siz\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131m?<\/p>

\u2013 M\u0259n q\u0259zet\u00e7iy\u0259m.<\/p>

\u2013 \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fcz d\u0259 yazmasan\u0131z, dostlar\u0131n\u0131zdan birin\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fars\u0131n\u0131z, \u2013 \u00abH\u0259\u00bb \u00abyox\u00bb g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259d\u0259n davam etdi: \u2013 M\u0259n bu par\u00e7adan dan\u0131\u015fmaq ist\u0259yir\u0259m. Bunun ad\u0131 indikodur. \u00d6z\u00fc d\u0259 q\u0259rib\u0259 bir hissl\u0259, duy\u011fu il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131d\u0131r. Yen\u0259 susdu. Sif\u0259ti get-ged\u0259 i\u015f\u0131qland\u0131, bird\u0259n g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn i\u00e7in\u0259 baxd\u0131: \u2013 Ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n, sizin anan\u0131z sa\u011fd\u0131rm\u0131?<\/p>

Sual \u00fcr\u0259yimi qopartd\u0131.<\/p>

\u2013 Sa\u011fd\u0131r, \u0259lb\u0259tt\u0259, sa\u011fd\u0131r.<\/p>

T\u0259la\u015f\u0131m\u0131 tez duydu.<\/p>

\u2013 \u018fd\u0259biyyat\u00e7\u0131 olmamaq bel\u0259dir ha\u2026 yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131 sual\u0131 b\u0259lk\u0259 ba\u015fqa t\u0259rzd\u0259, \u00e7ox ehtiyatla, \u00e7ox inc\u0259, b\u0259dii ver\u0259rdi. M\u0259ns\u0259, dey\u0259s\u0259n, \u00e7ox s\u0259rt, kobud dedim. Ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131n, anan\u0131z\u0131n \u00f6mr\u00fc uzun olsun, m\u0259nim d\u0259 anam sa\u011fd\u0131r.<\/p>

\u2013 Sa\u011f olun, \u2013 dedim.<\/p>

\u2013 Siz he\u00e7 \u00f6mr\u00fcn\u00fczd\u0259 qara i\u015f\u0131q g\u00f6rm\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fczm\u00fc? \u2013 G\u00f6zl\u0259rimi d\u00f6yd\u00fcm. El\u0259 bildim m\u0259ni o q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 b\u0259l\u0259d olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m kimya elmind\u0259n sor\u011fu-suala \u00e7\u0259kir. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 spektrd\u0259n dan\u0131\u015fmaq ist\u0259yir.<\/p>

\u2013 \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, g\u00f6rm\u0259misiniz, \u2013 dedi, \u2013 amma m\u0259n g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015f\u0259m, m\u0259nim anam\u0131n sa\u00e7lar\u0131 qara i\u015f\u0131q idi, g\u00fcnd\u00fcz\u00fcn \u00f6z\u00fc qaranl\u0131q, anam\u0131n qara, zil qara sa\u00e7lar\u0131sa i\u015f\u0131q idi, g\u00f6zqama\u015fd\u0131ran i\u015f\u0131q. O qara sa\u00e7larda el\u0259 parlaql\u0131q, el\u0259 i\u015f\u0131lt\u0131, el\u0259 \u015f\u0259f\u0259q vard\u0131 ki, indiy\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r onlar\u0131 he\u00e7 bir madd\u0259d\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m, he\u00e7 axtarmam\u0131\u015fam da. \u2013 Bayaqk\u0131 qaraqabaq, azdan\u0131\u015fan, s\u0259rtsif\u0259t alimd\u0259n q\u0259tiyy\u0259n \u0259s\u0259r-\u0259lam\u0259t qalmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. \u00dcz\u00fc ba\u015fdan-ba\u015fa nura q\u0259rq olmu\u015fdu, g\u00f6zl\u0259ri durulub b\u00fcllurla\u015fm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, harasa uzaqlara, lap uzaqlara bax\u0131r, n\u0259s\u0259 \u00fclvi bir \u015fey g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fc: \u2013 Qara i\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 udur, m\u0259nim anam\u0131n sa\u00e7lar\u0131na el\u0259 bil b\u00fct\u00f6v bir g\u00fcn\u0259\u015f hopmu\u015fdu, yoxsa el\u0259 i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 olard\u0131m\u0131? \u2013 Susdu, amma g\u00f6zl\u0259rini m\u0259chul n\u00f6qt\u0259d\u0259n \u00e7\u0259km\u0259di. \u2013 Bax, yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131 olmamaq bel\u0259dir ha. He\u00e7 bilmir\u0259m n\u0259d\u0259n ba\u015flay\u0131m. Siz he\u00e7 G\u0259nc\u0259d\u0259 olmusunuzmu?<\/p>

\u2013 \u018flb\u0259tt\u0259, \u00e7ox olmu\u015fam.<\/p>

Bundan sonra o m\u0259ni unudaraq sanki \u00f6z-\u00f6z\u00fc il\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>

\u2013 G\u0259nc\u0259\u00e7ay\u0131n sahilind\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131q. Biz\u0259 \u00e7ayq\u0131raql\u0131 dey\u0259rdil\u0259r, k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259mizin u\u015faqlar\u0131 yaman davak\u00fcnd\u00fc\u2026 U\u015faql\u0131\u011f\u0131m da, ilk g\u0259ncliyim d\u0259 orda ke\u00e7ib. Anam m\u00fc\u0259llim\u0259 idi, c\u0259br m\u00fc\u0259llim\u0259si. Atam mayordu, ba\u015fqa \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259 qulluq edirdi. Onda h\u0259l\u0259 atl\u0131 qo\u015fun vard\u0131. \u00dc\u00e7 u\u015faqd\u0131q, qarda\u015f\u0131m m\u0259nd\u0259n ya\u015fyar\u0131m ki\u00e7ik, bac\u0131m iki ya\u015f b\u00f6y\u00fckd\u00fc. \u00c7ox g\u00f6y\u00e7\u0259k u\u015faqlard\u0131, el\u0259 indi d\u0259 g\u00f6z\u0259ldirl\u0259r. Q\u0259tiyy\u0259n m\u0259n\u0259 ox\u015fam\u0131rd\u0131lar. Atam uca adamd\u0131. Burnunun ucunda bir \u00e7imdik qara \u00c7aplin b\u0131\u011f\u0131 vard\u0131. \u015eax yeri\u015fli g\u00f6y\u00e7\u0259k ki\u015fi idi. Amma anam! Anam lap d\u00fcnya g\u00f6z\u0259li idi. O g\u00f6z\u0259lliyi oldu\u011fum d\u00fcnya \u015f\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259rinin he\u00e7 birind\u0259 g\u00f6rm\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. Atamgil \u00e7ox zaman G\u0259nc\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259rdi. O, \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 anam biz\u0259 t\u0259miz paltar geydir\u0259r, ax\u015fam\u00fcst\u00fc g\u0259zm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xarard\u0131. M\u0259n torpaqla oynama\u011f\u0131 xo\u015flard\u0131m, \u00e7ox vaxt g\u0259zm\u0259k vaxt\u0131 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 anam\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcn\u0259 bax\u0131b yalvarard\u0131m ki, \u00abqoyun m\u0259n evd\u0259 qal\u0131m\u00bb. O da, atam da t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcb ed\u0259rdil\u0259r ki, ba\u015fqa qon\u015fular\u0131n u\u015faqlar\u0131 g\u0259zm\u0259y\u0259 ged\u0259n valideynl\u0259rinin dal\u0131nca q\u0131\u015fq\u0131r\u0131b a\u011flay\u0131r, \u00abm\u0259ni d\u0259 apar\u0131n\u00bb deyirdil\u0259r. M\u0259ni torpaq oyunundan ba\u015fqa ayr\u0131 s\u0259b\u0259b d\u0259 g\u0259zm\u0259kd\u0259n saxlay\u0131rd\u0131. G\u00f6z\u0259l paltarda, yaxamda q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 lent, m\u0259n lap eyb\u0259c\u0259r g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm, yara\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 paltar m\u0259nim eybl\u0259rimi el\u0259 bil daha qabar\u0131q g\u00f6st\u0259rirdi. El\u0259 bilirdim ki, onlar\u0131 pis g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259r\u0259m. B\u0259z\u0259n yaz\u0131q bax\u0131\u015flar\u0131mdan yum\u015fal\u0131b evd\u0259 qalma\u011f\u0131ma raz\u0131l\u0131q verirdil\u0259r. Bu vaxt m\u0259n \u0259li pal\u00e7\u0131ql\u0131, tozlu-torpaql\u0131 paltarda q\u0131r s\u0259kili mastavoy k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259miz\u0259 qa\u00e7ard\u0131m. G\u00fcn\u0259\u015f q\u00fcruba yax\u0131nla\u015fanda, g\u00f6yl\u0259r\u0259 yan\u0131q bir q\u0131zart\u0131 \u00e7\u00f6k\u0259nd\u0259, a\u011f salx\u0131ml\u0131 akasiyalar\u0131n \u015firinsov \u0259tri al\u0259mi b\u00fcr\u00fcy\u0259nd\u0259 anam, atam, bac\u0131m, qarda\u015f\u0131m evd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xard\u0131lar. M\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259rdi ki, b\u00fct\u00fcn k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259 onlar\u0131n tama\u015fas\u0131na durub. N\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 m\u0259n h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 ist\u0259rdim ki, anam bu indiko par\u00e7adan tikilmi\u015f kostyumunu geysin\u2026 Onun qara i\u015f\u0131lt\u0131l\u0131 q\u0131vr\u0131m sa\u00e7lar\u0131 s\u0259liq\u0259 il\u0259 bu par\u00e7an\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 s\u0259p\u0259l\u0259n\u0259nd\u0259 anam\u0131n g\u00f6z\u0259lliyi el\u0259 bil bir\u0259-min art\u0131rd\u0131, sanki boyu daha da ucala\u015f\u0131r, sanki bu par\u00e7a onun sif\u0259tin\u0259 \u0259lav\u0259 bir i\u015f\u0131q sa\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131, el\u0259 bil anam\u0131n iri g\u00f6zl\u0259ri daha da canlan\u0131r, qara qa\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n inc\u0259 x\u0259tl\u0259ri d\u0259 \u00e7ox ayd\u0131n g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc. Anam\u0131 bu kostyumda atam\u0131n, bac\u0131 v\u0259 qarda\u015f\u0131m\u0131n yan\u0131nda g\u00f6r\u0259nd\u0259 arzulay\u0131rd\u0131m ki, h\u0259r \u015fey el\u0259 bel\u0259c\u0259 qals\u0131n\u2026 U\u015fa\u011f\u0131n \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck ist\u0259yi n\u0259dir? Tez b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u0259k, lap tez. M\u0259ns\u0259 deyirdim qoy lap u\u015faq qal\u0131m, n\u0259 anam qocals\u0131n, n\u0259 atam. H\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 qarda\u015f\u0131m\u0131n v\u0259 bac\u0131m\u0131n \u0259ll\u0259rind\u0259n tutub bax bel\u0259c\u0259 g\u0259zm\u0259y\u0259 apars\u0131nlar, bizim d\u00fcnyaca m\u0259\u015fhur park\u0131m\u0131za, bizim mehriban xatir\u0259l\u0259rl\u0259 dolu Sabir k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259miz\u0259, G\u0259nc\u0259 \u00e7ay\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n sahilin\u0259. Zaman bax el\u0259 bel\u0259c\u0259 dayan\u0131b dursun. B\u00fct\u00fcn d\u00fcnyadak\u0131 saatlar\u0131n \u0259qr\u0259bl\u0259ri yeddinin \u00fcst\u0259 ili\u015fib qals\u0131n, anam, atam, qarda\u015f\u0131m, bac\u0131m g\u0259zm\u0259y\u0259 ged\u0259n vaxt.<\/p>

Amma zaman \u0259qr\u0259bl\u0259ri bird\u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck bir t\u0259kanla el\u0259 s\u0131\u00e7rad\u0131 ki, u\u015faqlar da qocald\u0131. M\u00fcharib\u0259 ba\u015fland\u0131. Atam getdi\u2026 m\u0259ktublar g\u0259ldi, \u00fc\u00e7bucaql\u0131. \u00c7\u00f6r\u0259k karto\u00e7kalar\u0131 g\u0259ldi, \u0259rzaq karto\u00e7kalar\u0131, neft karto\u00e7kalar\u0131 g\u0259ldi. Anam\u0131n qay\u011f\u0131s\u0131 artd\u0131. Mis qazan, mis m\u0259cm\u0259yi y\u0131\u011f\u0131rd\u0131 c\u0259bh\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, yun y\u0131\u011f\u0131rd\u0131, isti corab, isti \u0259lc\u0259k y\u0131\u011f\u0131rd\u0131 c\u0259bh\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, bo\u015f \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259l\u0259r y\u0131\u011fd\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131 c\u0259bh\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, m\u0259n d\u0259 y\u0131\u011f\u0131rd\u0131m. Ev\u0259 d\u0259 bax\u0131rd\u0131, yem\u0259yimiz azalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u2026 Anam d\u00f6z\u00fcrd\u00fc, m\u0259n d\u00f6z\u00fcrd\u00fcm, qarda\u015f\u0131m v\u0259 bac\u0131m da d\u00f6z\u00fcrd\u00fcl\u0259r. Amma onlar z\u0259if idil\u0259r. Anam bac\u0131m sar\u0131dan \u00e7ox narahat idi. O, k\u00f6rp\u0259likd\u0259 bir d\u0259f\u0259 b\u0259rk x\u0259st\u0259l\u0259nmi\u015fdi. Anam x\u00f6r\u0259yin az-\u00e7ox ya\u011fl\u0131 yerini ona \u00e7\u0259k\u0259rdi, t\u0259kid ed\u0259rdi ki, \u00abye\u00bb, sonra qarda\u015f\u0131ma, sonra m\u0259n\u0259. Ham\u0131dan az \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259 g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u0259rdi, b\u0259z\u0259n he\u00e7 g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u0259zdi, \u00abm\u0259n yemi\u015f\u0259m\u00bb dey\u0259rdi. M\u0259nim bo\u015fqab\u0131ma, sonra da g\u00f6zl\u0259rim\u0259 baxard\u0131, el\u0259 baxard\u0131 ki, mehriban g\u00f6zl\u0259ri il\u0259 o d\u0259qiq\u0259 n\u0259 dem\u0259k ist\u0259diyini duyard\u0131m. O, g\u00f6zl\u0259ri il\u0259 dey\u0259rdi: \u00abS\u0259n\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259n pay\u0131n azl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan incimirs\u0259n ki?\u00bb M\u0259n d\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m g\u00f6zl\u0259riml\u0259 ona dey\u0259m ki: \u00abYox, ana can, q\u0259tiyy\u0259n yox, ist\u0259yirs\u0259n lap ham\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 onlara ver, ax\u0131 m\u0259n Kalo\u011flanam\u00bb.<\/p>

K\u00fc\u00e7\u0259mizd\u0259 \u0259vv\u0259ll\u0259r m\u0259ni c\u0131rnatmaq ist\u0259y\u0259n u\u015faqlar Kalo\u011flan deyib \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rard\u0131lar. Bunun \u00fcst\u0259 birini vurub burnunu da qanatm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Anam m\u0259z\u0259mm\u0259tl\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 demi\u015fdim:<\/p>

\u2013 Niy\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 Kalo\u011flan deyirl\u0259r? Kim des\u0259, yen\u0259 vuracam.<\/p>

\u2013 Niy\u0259 vurursan, Kalo\u011flan? \u2013 dey\u0259 anam diri g\u00f6zl\u0259ri il\u0259 bax\u0131b el\u0259 dill\u0259nmi\u015fdi ki, h\u0259min s\u00f6z sehrl\u0259nmi\u015f, \u0259n b\u00f6y\u00fck m\u00fckafat kimi s\u0259sl\u0259nmi\u015fdi. \u2013 Ma\u015fallah, kal kimis\u0259n, s\u0259n p\u0259hl\u0259van olacaqsan.<\/p>

Bundan sonra ist\u0259yirdim ki, h\u0259r yerd\u0259, lap m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 d\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 Kalo\u011flan desinl\u0259r, lap jurnala da Kalo\u011flan yazs\u0131nlar. \u0130ndiy\u0259 baxmay\u0131n, o vaxt \u00e7ox m\u00f6hk\u0259m idim, m\u0131z-m\u0131z deyildim. M\u00fcharib\u0259d\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l m\u00f6hk\u0259m yeyib y\u00fck\u00fcm\u00fc tutmu\u015fdum, pudluq da\u015flar\u0131 oynad\u0131rd\u0131m. Ham\u0131 deyirdi Kalo\u011flan p\u0259hl\u0259van olacaq\u2026 Dey\u0259s\u0259n, ona g\u00f6r\u0259 anam m\u0259n sar\u0131dan arxay\u0131n idi.<\/p>

Anam\u0131n d\u0259rsi \u00e7ox artm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, bir ne\u00e7\u0259 m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yirdi, gec\u0259l\u0259ri d\u0259 d\u0259ft\u0259r yoxlay\u0131rd\u0131. Duyurdum ki, nigaran\u00e7\u0131l\u0131q \u00e7\u0259kir, bac\u0131m v\u0259 qarda\u015f\u0131m\u0131n yem\u0259yi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00e7ox \u0259ll\u0259\u015fir. Bir g\u00fcn evimizd\u0259ki qoz bufeti \u00fc\u00e7 ki\u015fi g\u0259lib apard\u0131. Ax\u015fam otaqda bir tay un g\u00f6rd\u00fcm, b\u00f6y\u00fck bir \u015f\u00fc\u015f\u0259 g\u00fcn\u0259baxan ya\u011f\u0131. Un tay\u0131 bufetin yerind\u0259 idi, qab-qacaq p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259nin i\u00e7in\u0259 y\u0131\u011f\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. N\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rimi bufetin yerind\u0259n \u00e7\u0259k\u0259 bilmirdim. Anam n\u0259 sezmi\u015fdis\u0259 dedi:<\/p>

\u2013 Fikir el\u0259m\u0259, Kalo\u011flan, dava qurtars\u0131n, ondan da yax\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 alar\u0131q.<\/p>

\u2013 Ana, qoy i\u015f\u0259 girim, ax\u0131 m\u0259n kal kimiy\u0259m, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn d\u0259 on \u00fc\u00e7 ya\u015f\u0131m tamamd\u0131r.<\/p>

\u2013 Yox, g\u00fcl\u00fcm, s\u0259ni m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259n ay\u0131rmaq olmaz, s\u0259n, \u00fcr\u0259yim\u0259 dam\u0131b, yax\u015f\u0131 m\u00fch\u0259ndis olacaqsan, evl\u0259r tik\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n, n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r can\u0131mda can var, oxuyacaqsan.<\/p>

\u0130kinci un tay\u0131 g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 divardak\u0131 cehiz t\u00fcrkm\u0259n xal\u00e7as\u0131 da yoxa \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131. \u00dc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc torbada divar saat\u0131. Sonra anam sand\u0131qdan torqsin \u015f\u0259rfini \u00e7\u0131xartd\u0131, \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 baxd\u0131.<\/p>

\u2013 Onsuz da bunu \u00f6rtm\u00fcr\u0259m, \u2013 dedi\u2026 Anam h\u0259r sand\u0131\u011f\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131b-ba\u011flad\u0131qca evimiz\u0259 gah un g\u0259lirdi, gah da \u00e7iyid ya\u011f\u0131\u2026 N\u0259hay\u0259t, sand\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u00f6z\u00fc d\u0259 getdi\u2026 Anam deyirdi.<\/p>

\u2013 Fikir el\u0259m\u0259, Kalo\u011flan, dava qurtars\u0131n\u2026 H\u0259r \u015fey alar\u0131q\u2026<\/p>

\u2013 Ana, m\u0259ni i\u015f\u0259 d\u00fcz\u0259lt, ax\u0131 m\u0259nim d\u00fcz on d\u00f6rd ya\u015f\u0131m var\u2026. \u00d6z\u00fcm d\u0259 Kalo\u011flanam\u2026<\/p>

\u2013 Oxu, m\u0259nim Kalo\u011flan balam, s\u0259n yax\u015f\u0131 oxuyursan\u2026 \u00dcr\u0259yim\u0259 dam\u0131b ki, s\u0259n g\u00f6z\u0259l h\u0259kim olacaqsan, adamlara sevinc g\u0259tir\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n.<\/p>

Q\u0131\u015fda odun \u00e7ox \u00e7\u0259tin tap\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131, me\u015f\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259n k\u0259sib g\u0259tir\u0259n yox, da\u015f\u0131ma\u011fa ma\u015f\u0131n yox\u2026 M\u0259n odun tapma\u011f\u0131n yolunu \u00f6yr\u0259nmi\u015fdim. O zaman\u0131n odun yaranlar\u0131 \u0259ld\u0259n d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f qocalard\u0131. \u0130ki k\u00f6t\u00fcy\u00fc yar\u0131b bir saat n\u0259f\u0259s d\u0259rirdil\u0259r. M\u0259n d\u0259rsd\u0259n sonrak\u0131 vaxtlar\u0131mda iki qocaya k\u00f6m\u0259k edirdim\u2026 Onlar qara\u011fac\u0131, saqq\u0131z\u0131 mi\u015farlay\u0131r, m\u0259n d\u0259 balta il\u0259 yar\u0131rd\u0131m. Qocalar altdan-altdan bax\u0131b ma\u015fallah deyirdil\u0259r\u2026<\/p>

Yad\u0131mdad\u0131r, soyuq otaqda anam narahat g\u00f6zl\u0259rl\u0259 bac\u0131ma bax\u0131rd\u0131: \u00abEvi isid\u0259 bils\u0259k, h\u0259r \u015fey d\u00fcz\u0259l\u0259r, bu il q\u0131\u015f yaman g\u0259lib\u00bb. Ondan c\u0259mi iki g\u00fcn sonra m\u0259n z\u0259hm\u0259timin m\u00fcqabilind\u0259 qocalardan ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m odunlar\u0131 evimiz\u0259 g\u0259tirib, pe\u00e7\u0259 qalam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Anam i\u015fd\u0259n qay\u0131danda evi isti g\u00f6r\u00fcb m\u0259ni \u00f6pm\u0259k ist\u0259mi\u015fdi. M\u0259ns\u0259 onun \u0259ll\u0259rini qucaqlay\u0131b, ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 sin\u0259sind\u0259 gizl\u0259tmi\u015fdim ki, \u00f6pm\u0259sin\u2026 Lap balaca vaxt\u0131 da n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 anam m\u0259ni \u00f6pm\u0259k, ox\u015famaq ist\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259, qa\u00e7ard\u0131m\u2026 Amma yatm\u0131\u015f olanda \u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fc dabanlar\u0131na s\u00fcrt\u0259rdim. Anam evd\u0259 olmayanda \u015fifoneri a\u00e7\u0131b onun paltarlar\u0131n\u0131 iyl\u0259y\u0259rdim. \u0130ndiko kostyuma baxard\u0131m doyunca. Ondan m\u00fcharib\u0259d\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259lki ill\u0259rin xo\u015f \u0259tri g\u0259lirdi. Atam ged\u0259nd\u0259n sonra anam onu bir d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 geym\u0259mi\u015fdi. M\u0259n h\u0259r ona baxanda x\u0259yal\u0131mda m\u00fcharib\u0259 bit\u0259r, atam qay\u0131dar, anam kostyumu gey\u0259r, qarda\u015f v\u0259 bac\u0131m\u0131n \u0259lind\u0259n tutar, g\u00f6yl\u0259r mis\u0259 \u00e7alanda, akasiya \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259kl\u0259rinin \u015firinsov \u0259tri al\u0259mi b\u00fcr\u00fcy\u0259nd\u0259 k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xar, g\u0259zm\u0259y\u0259 ged\u0259rdil\u0259r.<\/p>

Sand\u0131q evd\u0259n apar\u0131landan sonra bir d\u0259f\u0259 \u015fifoneri a\u00e7anda anam\u0131n f\u00fcruzeyi cemperini g\u00f6rm\u0259dim.. \u00abY\u0259qin gec\u0259ki kartofa, ya\u011fa gedib\u00bb\u2026 U\u00e7undum\u2026<\/p>

\u2013 Ana, icaz\u0259 ver, ana, m\u0259n be\u015f yerd\u0259, on yerd\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259 bil\u0259r\u0259m\u2026 M\u0259nim on be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131ma az qal\u0131b, ax\u0131 m\u0259n Kalo\u011flanam, ana.<\/p>

\u2013 Dar\u0131xma, balam, he\u00e7 dar\u0131xma, s\u0259n yax\u015f\u0131 oxuyursan, lap yax\u015f\u0131 oxuyursan\u2026 \u00dcr\u0259yim\u0259 dam\u0131b ki, s\u0259n alim olacaqsan.<\/p>

Sonra anam\u0131n t\u00fcnd g\u00f6y \u015fal donu yoxa \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131\u2026 Boston kostyumunu bac\u0131m \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u00fcz\u0259ltdirdi. Ax\u0131 onun on alt\u0131 ya\u015f\u0131 tamam olmu\u015fdu\u2026 Anam q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6z\u0259l geyinm\u0259sin\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131, bizim ana-q\u0131z m\u00fcnasib\u0259tl\u0259rind\u0259n ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131z \u00e7\u0131xmaz, \u0259zizim. Ana q\u0131z\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6z\u0259lliyin\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r, \u00f6z \u0259ynind\u0259n k\u0259sir. \u015eifonerd\u0259 paltar azal\u0131rd\u0131, \u00fcr\u0259yim qopurdu. Bir g\u00fcn anam\u0131n \u0259ll\u0259rini qucaqlad\u0131m, \u00f6pd\u00fcm, yalad\u0131m.<\/p>

\u2013 He\u00e7 olmasa bu indiko kostyuma d\u0259ym\u0259, ana!<\/p>

\u2013 Niy\u0259, m\u0259nim Kalo\u011flan balam?..<\/p>

\u2013 Bilmir\u0259m, ana, amma d\u0259ym\u0259. \u2013 M\u0259n \u00f6z ist\u0259kl\u0259rimi izah eliy\u0259 bilm\u0259zdim, bacarmazd\u0131m. \u2013 Bunu satsan, k\u00fcs\u0259r\u0259m s\u0259nd\u0259n, ana\u2026<\/p>

\u2013 Arxay\u0131n ol, Kalo\u011flan\u2026<\/p>

M\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, o kostyum gets\u0259, h\u0259r \u015fey bit\u0259c\u0259k, h\u0259r \u015fey \u00f6z m\u0259nas\u0131n\u0131 itir\u0259c\u0259k, arzular\u0131m\u0131n he\u00e7 biri yerin\u0259 yetm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kdir. \u015eifonerd\u0259 kostyumdan ba\u015fqa, anam\u0131n iki nimda\u015f donu qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131: biri qara \u015fal, biri d\u0259 adi g\u00f6y par\u00e7a. \u00d6z t\u0259rav\u0259tini itirm\u0259y\u0259n indiko kostyum \u015fifonerin i\u00e7in\u0259 \u00fcmidli bir i\u015f\u0131q sa\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131. Dey\u0259s\u0259n, m\u00fcharib\u0259nin qurtarmas\u0131na da az qalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131, el\u0259 bil dava yaz\u0131n a\u00e7\u0131lmas\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdi ki, dayans\u0131n.<\/p>

Dey\u0259s\u0259n, anam\u0131n kostyumu m\u00fcharib\u0259d\u0259n salamat \u00e7\u0131xacaqd\u0131. Havadan \u0259min-amanl\u0131q iyi g\u0259lirdi, gec\u0259l\u0259r k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 i\u015f\u0131q yand\u0131rma\u011fa icaz\u0259 verirdil\u0259r.<\/p>

Bird\u0259n bac\u0131m a\u011f\u0131r x\u0259st\u0259l\u0259ndi. Deyirdil\u0259r s\u0259t\u0259lc\u0259mdir. Anam gec\u0259l\u0259r onun ba\u015f\u0131 \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 ke\u015fik\u00e7i dururdu, q\u0131z\u0131n \u015fidd\u0259tli q\u0131zd\u0131rmas\u0131 vard\u0131. Anam\u0131n g\u00f6zl\u0259ri yaman q\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 olurdu. Yuxusuzluqdand\u0131, bir d\u0259, dey\u0259s\u0259n, bizi yat\u0131zd\u0131r\u0131b \u00f6z\u00fc a\u011flay\u0131rd\u0131. N\u0259hay\u0259t, bac\u0131m\u0131n q\u0131zd\u0131rmas\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc. Amma \u00e7ox z\u0259ifl\u0259mi\u015fdi. H\u0259kim h\u0259l\u0259 durma\u011fa icaz\u0259 vermirdi. Yax\u015f\u0131 baxmaq laz\u0131md\u0131r, deyirdi.<\/p>

Bir g\u00fcn d\u0259rsd\u0259n g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 evd\u0259 stolun \u00fcstd\u0259 \u00e7oxlu ya\u011f g\u00f6rd\u00fcm, sapsar\u0131 k\u0259r\u0259 ya\u011f\u0131, xo\u015f \u0259tirli. Bankada bal da vard\u0131, qaymaq da. P\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259nin i\u00e7ind\u0259 g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 qoyun budu sata\u015fd\u0131. Anam toyuq t\u0259mizl\u0259yirdi. Kefi \u00e7ox yax\u015f\u0131 idi. M\u0259ni g\u00f6r\u0259n kimi b\u0259rkd\u0259n dedi.<\/p>

\u2013 Kalo\u011flan, m\u0259nim \u0259lim bula\u015f\u0131qd\u0131r, \u00f6z\u00fcn balnan qayma\u011f\u0131 qat\u0131\u015fd\u0131r, ye, t\u0259ndir \u0259pp\u0259yi d\u0259 var.<\/p>

G\u00f6rd\u00fckl\u0259rimd\u0259n a\u011fl\u0131ma bir \u015fey batmad\u0131. Anam da \u015f\u0259n dan\u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 il\u0259 el\u0259 bil n\u0259yis\u0259 gizl\u0259tm\u0259k ist\u0259yirdi. N\u0259yi? Portfeli kitab r\u0259finin yan\u0131na qoyub, \u0259limi xa\u015fxa\u015fl\u0131 t\u0259ndir \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259yin\u0259 uzatmaq ist\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259 el\u0259 bil qolum qurudu, sanki \u00fcr\u0259yim d\u0259 buxarlan\u0131b n\u0259f\u0259siml\u0259 birlikd\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131, \u015fifoner\u0259 boyland\u0131m\u2026 Yava\u015fca yax\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131m, qap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7\u0259kdim, ba\u011fl\u0131 idi, birinci d\u0259f\u0259 idi ki, bizim evd\u0259 \u015fifonerin qap\u0131s\u0131 ba\u011fl\u0131 olurdu. He\u00e7 onun i\u00e7i dolu olanda bir d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 q\u0131f\u0131llanmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u2026 Anam\u0131n s\u0259si g\u0259ldi\u2026<\/p>

\u2013 Niy\u0259 yemirs\u0259n, Kalo\u011flan?<\/p>

\u2013 \u0130\u015ftah\u0131m yoxdur\u2026<\/p>

G\u00f6zl\u0259dim, anam h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 a\u00e7ar\u0131 onun jaketinin cibind\u0259n tap\u0131b \u015fifoneri a\u00e7d\u0131m. \u018fll\u0259rim \u0259sirdi, \u00aballah el\u0259sin yerind\u0259 olsun\u00bb. Qap\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7anda g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc yumdum, bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t kirpikl\u0259rimi qald\u0131rma\u011fa \u00fcr\u0259k el\u0259m\u0259dim\u2026 Pill\u0259k\u0259nl\u0259rd\u0259n anam\u0131n ayaq s\u0259sl\u0259ri g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259rimi a\u00e7d\u0131m. \u015eifonerin i\u00e7i qaranl\u0131q ma\u011fara a\u011fz\u0131na ox\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131. \u0130\u015f\u0131q yoxa \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u2026 Qap\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6rt\u00fcb balkona \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m.<\/p>

\u2013 Hara, Kalo\u011flan?..<\/p>

Dinm\u0259dim.<\/p>

\u2013 Hara gedirs\u0259n, Kalo\u011flan, b\u0259s \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k yemirs\u0259n?<\/p>

Cavab verm\u0259dim\u2026 \u0130lk d\u0259f\u0259 anamdan k\u00fcsm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm. Pill\u0259k\u0259nl\u0259ri d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcb qa\u00e7anda onun s\u0259si g\u0259lirdi.<\/p>

\u2013 Qay\u0131t, Kalo\u011flan, qay\u0131t, m\u0259nim quzum, \u2013 s\u0259si titr\u0259yi\u015fli v\u0259 q\u0259h\u0259rli idi, \u2013 e\u015fidirs\u0259nmi, qay\u0131t.<\/p>

K\u00fc\u00e7\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xd\u0131m. El\u0259 bil istiqam\u0259t anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131m yoxa \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Hara gedirdim, niy\u0259 gedirdim, bilmir\u0259m. El\u0259 yeriyirdim. Bir d\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 qald\u0131randa Ba\u011fbanlardayd\u0131m. Qay\u0131td\u0131m, bir d\u0259 ay\u0131landa g\u00f6rd\u00fcm \u015eahsev\u0259n m\u0259h\u0259ll\u0259sind\u0259y\u0259m. Yeriyirdim, el\u0259 bil b\u0259d\u0259nimin b\u00fct\u00fcn a\u011fr\u0131lar\u0131 ayaqlar\u0131mdan, yeri\u015fimd\u0259n \u00e7\u0131x\u0131rd\u0131. El\u0259 bil dayansam tar\u0131m \u00e7\u0259kilmi\u015f \u0259s\u0259bl\u0259rim q\u0131r\u0131l\u0131b t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u0259c\u0259kdi\u2026 Ax\u015famt\u0259r\u0259fi Sabir k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259sin\u0259 g\u0259ldim. Yoruldu\u011fumu indi duydum. Bulvardak\u0131 skamyalardan birind\u0259 oturdum. G\u0259nc\u0259\u00e7ay\u0131n qurumu\u015f m\u0259cras\u0131na baxd\u0131m. Soyuq k\u00fcl\u0259k qopmasa, kim bilir n\u0259 q\u0259d\u0259r oturacaqd\u0131m. Adam b\u0259z\u0259n m\u00fchakim\u0259sinin istiqam\u0259tini d\u0259 itirir. Bac\u0131ma q\u0259z\u0259bl\u0259nmi\u015fdim ki, niy\u0259 x\u0259st\u0259l\u0259nib, niy\u0259 m\u00fcharib\u0259 qurtarana kimi \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00f6zl\u0259m\u0259yib? Q\u0259rib\u0259 m\u0259ntiq idi\u2026 Yoxsa m\u0259ntiqsizlik\u2026<\/p>

Ev\u0259 gec\u0259 qay\u0131td\u0131m. Anam m\u0259ni qucaqlay\u0131b \u00f6pd\u00fc, boynumu ox\u015fad\u0131, \u015fam barmaqlar\u0131 il\u0259 ixtiyars\u0131z axan g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131m\u0131 sildi\u2026<\/p>

\u2013 Buna bax ey. M\u0259n s\u0259ni yek\u0259 ki\u015fi bilirdim\u2026 Ay s\u0259ni, Kalo\u011flan. O kostyumu biz alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131q, o bizi almam\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Dava qurtaran kimi, atan qay\u0131dan kimi ondan da yax\u015f\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 alar\u0131q\u2026 Buna bax ha\u2026<\/p>

M\u00fcharib\u0259 qurtard\u0131, \u00e7\u00f6r\u0259k karto\u00e7kalar\u0131 getdi, \u0259rzaq karto\u00e7kalar\u0131 getdi, neft karto\u00e7kalar\u0131 getdi\u2026 atam qay\u0131tmad\u0131. Biz g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc \u00e7\u0259kdik\u2026 Amma anam h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 g\u00f6zl\u0259yir.<\/p>

Bac\u0131m\u0131n yanaqlar\u0131ndan qan dam\u0131rd\u0131, anam onu m\u00fcharib\u0259nin \u00e7\u0259ngind\u0259n \u00e7\u0259kib alm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Tibb texnikumunu bitirib iki il i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259nd\u0259n sonra \u0259r\u0259 getdi.<\/p>

M\u0259nim s\u0131sqa qarda\u015f\u0131m y\u00fcng\u00fcl \u00e7\u0259kili p\u0259hl\u0259van olmu\u015fdu, adl\u0131-sanl\u0131, indi m\u0259\u015fq\u00e7idir. Onu m\u0259nd\u0259n \u00e7ox tan\u0131y\u0131rlar.<\/p>

M\u0259nim t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259lik ill\u0259rim ba\u015flad\u0131. T\u0259qa\u00fcd\u00fcmd\u0259n q\u0259na\u0259t el\u0259yib xeyli pul toplam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Bir d\u0259st kostyumluq. Amma kimd\u0259n soru\u015fdumsa, indiko par\u00e7adan soraq ver\u0259n yox idi. Deyirdil\u0259r indi el\u0259 par\u00e7a toxunmur, asar\u0259tiq\u0259dir, t\u0259sad\u00fcf\u0259n tapmaq olar. B\u0259lk\u0259 kimin sand\u0131\u011f\u0131nda qalm\u0131\u015f ola. Tez-tez Quba meydan\u0131na ged\u0259rdim, o zaman orda h\u0259ft\u0259d\u0259 bir b\u00f6y\u00fck bazar olard\u0131. Anam\u0131n kostyumu tez-tez yuxuma gir\u0259rdi\u2026 O kostyumdan qalan bu par\u00e7an\u0131 \u00e7amadan\u0131mda saxlay\u0131rd\u0131m. Sonralar s\u0259f\u0259r\u0259 \u00e7\u0131xanda n\u00fcmun\u0259 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00f6z\u00fcml\u0259 aparard\u0131m ki, ox\u015fatma il\u0259 b\u0259lk\u0259 tapd\u0131m. B\u0259z\u0259n d\u0259srd\u0259 fikrim yay\u0131nar, g\u00f6zl\u0259rim \u00f6n\u00fcn\u0259 q\u0131zartdaq s\u0259ma, ax\u015fam\u00fcst\u00fc saat yeddid\u0259 bac\u0131m\u0131n, qarda\u015f\u0131m\u0131n \u0259lind\u0259n tutub g\u0259zm\u0259y\u0259 aparan indiko kostyumlu anam, \u00c7aplin b\u0131\u011fl\u0131 atam, burnuma \u015firinsov akasiya \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259yi \u0259tri g\u0259l\u0259rdi. El\u0259 g\u00fcman el\u0259yirdim ki, kostyumluq par\u00e7an\u0131 tapsam, h\u0259r \u015fey geri qay\u0131dacaq\u2026 b\u0259lk\u0259 atam da\u2026<\/p>

Bilmir\u0259m n\u0259d\u0259ns\u0259 kimya m\u0259n\u0259 asanl\u0131qla t\u0259slim olurdu. P\u0259hl\u0259van olmasam da, kimya\u00e7\u0131 ola bildim. Dissertasiyalar\u0131 dalbadal yazd\u0131m\u2026 qalanlar\u0131n\u0131 bilirsiniz. Evl\u0259ndim. U\u015faqlar\u0131m da oldu. Amma m\u0259n indiko kostyumu unuda bilmirdim. \u0130\u015fl\u0259 \u0259laq\u0259dar \u00e7ox yerl\u0259r\u0259 gedirdim\u2026 Hans\u0131 \u015f\u0259h\u0259r\u0259 yolum d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcrd\u00fcs\u0259, cibimd\u0259 bu par\u00e7a q\u0131r\u0131\u011f\u0131 komission ma\u011fazalar\u0131 g\u0259zirdim. Demi\u015fdil\u0259r ki, b\u0259lk\u0259 oradan tapmaq m\u00fcmk\u00fcn oldu. \u00dc\u00e7 il bundan \u0259vv\u0259l Moskvada t\u0259sad\u00fcf\u0259n h\u0259min par\u00e7adan \u00fc\u00e7 metr tapd\u0131m. Sevindiyimd\u0259n ist\u0259yirdim lap elmi sessiyan\u0131 yar\u0131m\u00e7\u0131q qoyub \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc anama yetir\u0259m. Moskvadan birba\u015fa Bak\u0131ya deyil, Tbilisid\u0259n ke\u00e7ib G\u0259nc\u0259y\u0259 getdim\u2026<\/p>

\u2013 Tapm\u0131\u015fam, ana, \u2013 dedim, \u2013 tez tikdir.<\/p>

\u2013 N\u0259yi tapm\u0131san? \u2013 dey\u0259 heyr\u0259tl\u0259 \u00fcz\u00fcm\u0259 baxd\u0131.<\/p>

\u2013 S\u0259nin o kostyumunun par\u00e7as\u0131n\u0131. Tez tikdir. Yax\u015f\u0131 usta tap, ana, m\u0259n bir d\u0259 buraya qay\u0131dana kimi \u0259ynind\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcm\u2026<\/p>

\u2013 Arxay\u0131n ol, \u2013 dedi, heyran-heyran m\u0259n\u0259 baxd\u0131. O m\u0259ni daha Kalo\u011flan dey\u0259 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rm\u0131rd\u0131. G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, formal titul v\u0259 adlar ana-o\u011ful m\u00fcnasib\u0259tin\u0259 t\u0259sir g\u00f6st\u0259rir. Amma ist\u0259yirdim o sehirli s\u0259si il\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 Kalo\u011flan desin.<\/p>

\u2013 Bax, bir-iki aya kimi g\u0259lir\u0259m.<\/p>

\u2013 Arxay\u0131n ol.<\/p>

\u2013 O kostyumun kimi tikdir.<\/p>

\u2013 Yax\u015f\u0131, o\u011ful.<\/p>

Bak\u0131ya qay\u0131td\u0131m. Bir m\u00fcdd\u0259td\u0259n sonra qad\u0131n\u0131m u\u015faqlarla \u015f\u0259h\u0259rimiz\u0259 qonaq getdi. Qay\u0131dandan bir ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcn sonra balaca q\u0131z\u0131m\u0131n \u0259ynind\u0259 indikodan tikilmi\u015f penc\u0259k g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. \u00abY\u0259qin par\u00e7adan art\u0131q qal\u0131b, ana onu da n\u0259v\u0259sin\u0259 tikib\u00bb. Ax\u015fam\u00fcst\u00fc qad\u0131n\u0131m yeni indiko kostyumunu m\u0259n\u0259 g\u00f6st\u0259rdi. Yax\u015f\u0131d\u0131rm\u0131, dedi, anam\u0131z\u0131n ba\u011f\u0131\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 par\u00e7adan tikdirmi\u015f\u0259m.<\/p>

Dinm\u0259dim\u2026 O da \u0259vv\u0259lc\u0259 t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 baxd\u0131, sonra da, g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, incidi.<\/p>

Bir il sonra h\u0259min par\u00e7adan Riqan\u0131n komission ma\u011fazalar\u0131ndan birind\u0259 tapd\u0131m. Anama apard\u0131m.<\/p>

\u2013 Ana, ged\u0259k bu d\u0259qiq\u0259 m\u0259nim yan\u0131mda d\u0259rzi \u00f6l\u00e7s\u00fcn.<\/p>

\u2013 Dar\u0131xma, o\u011ful\u2026 Lap arxay\u0131n get.<\/p>

Nec\u0259 olsa yax\u015f\u0131d\u0131r? H\u0259min par\u00e7an\u0131 da bac\u0131m\u0131n \u0259ynind\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fcm\u2026. Dinm\u0259dim. \u0130xtiyar\u0131m n\u0259dir ki, anama bir s\u00f6z dey\u0259m\u2026<\/p>

Lap bu yax\u0131nlarda yen\u0259 o par\u00e7adan tapd\u0131m.<\/p>

\u00abYox, ana, daha par\u00e7an\u0131 s\u0259n\u0259 bu \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 verm\u0259r\u0259m\u00bb. Anam\u0131n \u00f6l\u00e7\u00fcs\u00fc m\u0259nd\u0259 idi. \u018fn yax\u015f\u0131 d\u0259rzil\u0259rd\u0259n birini tapd\u0131m. Birt\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259 h\u0259min modan\u0131 izah el\u0259dim. \u0130nsaf\u0259n, ki\u015fi \u00e7ox yara\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 bir kostyum tikmi\u015fdi\u2026 Qanad axtar\u0131rd\u0131m. \u018fvv\u0259lc\u0259 Bak\u0131ya g\u0259ldim, u\u015faqlar\u0131 da g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcb birba\u015fa G\u0259nc\u0259y\u0259! \u0130st\u0259yirdim anam\u0131n g\u0259ncliyini onlar da g\u00f6rs\u00fcn. Bizim gedi\u015fimiz m\u00fcnasib\u0259til\u0259 bac\u0131m da g\u0259lmi\u015fdi, yax\u0131n qohumlar\u0131m\u0131z da\u2026<\/p>

Anam dedi:<\/p>

\u2013 Pay\u0131n art\u0131q olsun.<\/p>

\u2013 Bu d\u0259qiq\u0259 geyin, ana, bax, bu saniy\u0259, bu an\u2026<\/p>

\u2013 Yax\u015f\u0131, sonra geyin\u0259r\u0259m.<\/p>

\u2013 Yox, indi, ana, indi.<\/p>

O biri ota\u011fa ke\u00e7di. G\u00f6zl\u0259dim. M\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, ke\u00e7\u0259n ill\u0259ri qantarqalam\u0131\u015fam, bu d\u0259qiq\u0259 qan\u0131r\u0131b geri qaytar\u0131ram\u2026 Bax, bu d\u0259qiq\u0259 anam g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259k, qara i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 sa\u00e7lar\u0131 \u00e7iynind\u0259\u2026 \u00d6z\u00fc il\u0259 mis r\u0259ngli s\u0259man\u0131, ucaboy, \u00c7aplin b\u0131\u011fl\u0131 atam\u0131, qarda\u015f\u0131m v\u0259 bac\u0131m\u0131n balacal\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, \u015firinsov akasiya \u00e7i\u00e7\u0259yi \u0259trini, ax\u015fam saat yeddini g\u0259tir\u0259c\u0259k\u2026 K\u00fc\u00e7\u0259d\u0259kil\u0259r tama\u015faya duracaq\u2026 M\u0259n d\u0259 d\u00f6n\u00fcb balaca Kalo\u011flan olaca\u011fam, \u0259ynimd\u0259 tozlu-torpaql\u0131 paltar, \u0259ll\u0259rimin pal\u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 arxda yuya-yuya bu m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259y\u0259 baxaca\u011fam. \u0130ndiko kostyuma, anam\u0131n \u015f\u0259v\u0259 sa\u00e7lar\u0131na.<\/p>

Anam g\u0259ldi. H\u0259r t\u0259r\u0259fd\u0259n \u00abm\u00fcbar\u0259k\u00bb dedil\u0259r. M\u0259nim mehriban anam \u00fcrk\u0259k-\u00fcrk\u0259k g\u00f6zl\u0259rim\u0259 baxd\u0131\u2026 \u00d6z\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7ox narahat hiss el\u0259yirdi.<\/p>

\u0130st\u0259dim q\u0131\u015fq\u0131ram ki, b\u0259s s\u0259nin qara i\u015f\u0131ql\u0131 sa\u00e7lar\u0131n han\u0131, ana? Yoxsa o biri otaqda qal\u0131b?<\/p>

Onun a\u011fl\u0131-qaral\u0131 sa\u00e7lar\u0131 kostyumun r\u0259ngin\u0259 qat\u0131\u015f\u0131b itmi\u015fdi.<\/p>

Par\u00e7an\u0131n sald\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u015f\u0131q onun \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259ki q\u0131r\u0131\u015flar\u0131 lap ayd\u0131n g\u00f6st\u0259rirdi.<\/p>

Kostyum anama yara\u015fmad\u0131.<\/p>

Anam qocalm\u0131\u015fd\u0131.<\/p>

O\u011flum Elxana<\/b>
<\/b>
1963-c\u00fc il\u00a0<\/b><\/p>

www.ann.az<\/b><\/p>

\u00a0<\/p>

M\u00fc\u0259llif: Necef Esgerzade<\/p>

\u0130stinad: https:\/\/edebiyyat.az\/proza\/373-altay-memmedov-anam-qocalmisdi.html<\/a><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

S\u0259rt bax\u0131\u015f\u0131 vard\u0131. Sa\u011f g\u00f6z\u00fc qa\u00e7\u0131rd\u0131. M\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, \u00e7\u0259pdir, amma \u00e7ox vaxt g\u00f6z yerin\u0259 qay\u0131d\u0131rd\u0131. X\u0259sislikl\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131. Londondan yenic\u0259 qay\u0131tm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Neft kimyas\u0131ndan m\u0259ruz\u0259 el\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 getmi\u015fdi. Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 k\u0259lm\u0259 s\u00f6yl\u0259yir, \u00abH\u0259, bu q\u0259d\u0259r\u00bb deyirdi\u2026 T\u0259rp\u0259nm\u0259diyimi g\u00f6r\u00fcb g\u00f6zl\u0259rini bir n\u00f6qt\u0259y\u0259 zill\u0259yirdi. Sual verm\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tinlik \u00e7\u0259kirdim. \u00d6z\u00fcm\u00fc a\u011f\u0131r y\u00fck alt\u0131nda hiss edirdim. Cavan olmas\u0131na baxmayaraq, \u00e7ox […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":5678,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[76],"tags":[74],"class_list":["post-5947","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-xeberler","tag-altay-mmmdov"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/altaymammadov.com\/ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5947","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/altaymammadov.com\/ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/altaymammadov.com\/ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/altaymammadov.com\/ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/altaymammadov.com\/ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5947"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/altaymammadov.com\/ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5947\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5962,"href":"https:\/\/altaymammadov.com\/ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5947\/revisions\/5962"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/altaymammadov.com\/ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5678"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/altaymammadov.com\/ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5947"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/altaymammadov.com\/ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5947"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/altaymammadov.com\/ru\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5947"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}